I’ve been planning to write this for a while, but extra inspiration was provided during an online conversation I had a few days ago with The Brothers Krynn, who urged me to do it sooner rather than later.
If you haven’t heard of them, as I hadn’t until recently, it’s worth mentioning straight away that they are probably the most productive people I’ve yet found on Substack. They create and publish stories, poems and thoughtful essays, both in English and in French, at a rate so prodigious that I half suspect there are about a dozen of them, though they say there are only two.
The Brothers are among that half of my subscribers who do not live in the same country as I do. People all over the world are aware of it, but surely only a tiny proportion know exactly what it consists of. Frankly, it’s hard to explain even if you’re a resident – or, properly speaking, a subject, since it’s a constitutional monarchy – but I’ll do my best.
(A note before we go any further: I’ll describe the situation as it currently is, not as some people would like it to be, since that could lead to Awkwardness and Passionate Debate, and there’s enough of those in the world already.)
The official name of the country in question is the United Kingdom, and the usual adjective is British, though neither of these terms is entirely satisfactory. It’s actually a conglomerate of countries, the largest, by area and population, being England, which makes up most of the main island. I know it’s tempting to use the terms ‘England’ and ‘English’ when what you really mean is ‘United Kingdom’ and ‘British’, and in some languages it’s difficult not to, but those of us who are British but not English would be grateful if you didn’t.
I live in Scotland, which is a different country, even though we have shared a monarchy with England since 1603 and a parliament since 1707. However, we have our own legal system, and since 1999 Scotland has had a devolved parliament, which looks after some but not all of our affairs.
Wales used to be described as a principality, but is now officially considered to be a country within the United Kingdom. Like Scotland, it has had a devolved parliament, known as the Senedd, since 1999. Along with England and Scotland, it makes up the land mass of Great Britain, though all three also have offshore islands which are included in that term.
To the west of Great Britain is Ireland. In the nineteenth century, it was part of an entity known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, but most of it is now a separate, non-UK nation called the either the Republic of Ireland or just Ireland. The remainder (the bit at the top right, as seen on a north-south map) is Northern Ireland, which is specifically mentioned in the UK’s full title: the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
You could be forgiven for assuming that Northern Ireland is at the northern end of the island of Ireland. This is largely true, but parts of the Republic of Ireland lie further north than the northernmost part of Northern Ireland. I never said this was going to be easy.
The capital cities of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are, respectively, London, Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast. London is also the capital of the United Kingdom, so Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland each have two different capitals, while England has two capitals which happen to be the same city.
(This is not unique. The capitals of Denmark, Greenland and the Faroe Islands are Copenhagen, Nuuk and Tórshavn, but Copenhagen is also the capital of all three, since they are the constituent countries of the Kingdom of Denmark.)
If you think this is all needlessly complex, I can assure you we’ve only just started. The ‘British’ Olympic team is commonly known as Team GB, but that neglects Northern Irish competitors, who do not live in Great Britain unless they have moved there. Team UK would be a better name, except that it would neglect the cyclist Mark Cavendish, who is from the Isle of Man, located in the sea between England and Ireland.
The Isle of Man is not in the United Kingdom. It has the same monarch, currently King Charles III, but it is a self-governing Crown Dependency, with, again, its own, though in this case not devolved, parliament (the Tynwald) and, like Scotland, its own legal system. Despite that, the UK Government is in certain ways responsible for it, and Manx people are considered to be British citizens.
All the places mentioned so far, including the Republic of Ireland, can be described geographically as part of the British Isles, but this does not apply to the Channel Islands, which are off the coast of France. They make up not one but two Crown Dependencies: the Bailiwick of Jersey, consisting only of Jersey, the largest island, and the Bailiwick of Guernsey, consisting of Alderney, Brecqhou, Guernsey itself, Herm, Jethou and Sark. Like the Isle of Man, they have a connection with the United Kingdom but are not part of it.
While the Channel Islands are not in the British Isles, they are covered by the legal term British Islands. The Republic of Ireland is in exactly the opposite situation. It’s part of the British Isles but not the British Islands because unlike Northern Ireland, which is part of both and is literally on the same land mass, it is not politically British even though it is geographically British. I hope I make myself clear.
Even if we leave aside the more distant British Overseas Territories, which include Bermuda, the Falkland Islands and part of Antarctica, or any member states in the Commonwealth of Nations, of which King Charles is the ceremonial leader, it must be clear by now that this is an enormously confusing subject. If you ask a British person (whatever that means) where they live, they probably won’t reply, “Well, it’s complicated,” but it would be understandable if they did.
Top image of whatever the damn place is called (but excluding the Channel Islands) copyright Hellerick.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/legalcode.en
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In their defence, I’ve always pointed out, when people drag up the statistic that 70 per cent (or whatever it is) of Americans don’t have passports, that the US is so big and diverse that you can have a staggering range of experiences without going “abroad”.
I’ve encountered exasperation, but, more commonly, an impatience that it matters. (I’m not saying it’s widespread and I’m certainly not habitually anti-American, though boy do they sometimes live up to the stereotype of staggering incuriosity about the world beyond their borders).